Eugene Havens

Verse

“It is finished.”

John 19:30

A good friend called me out of the blue. “My cancer is terminal,” he said. It was news I hoped never to hear. He first battled cancer years before. After a time of remission, it came back this year. His doctors removed the rest of the cancerous growth. Everyone was hopeful the cancer was gone.

The doctors found it had spread. A few months ago, my friend went through more treatment. We were all cautiously optimistic, but his latest biopsy revealed the cancer had grown too pervasive.

My friend had to decide what to do. His body couldn’t withstand more treatment. Likely, it wouldn’t help. The doctors threw everything they had into the area, they said. My friend had to choose between more chemotherapy and his remaining quality of life. He decided to enter hospice care. 

Now we pray he has more time. His doctor says he’s been wrong too often to make a guess.

My friend and I are the same age, the upper end of middle age. No one calls your late fifties young unless you die. Then they say, “he was so young.” It seems the age of sixty is the line. 

This imaginary line of sixty adds to the unfairness of my friend’s situation. He is too young to pass away. He has more to do. My friend has a wife. He has a community of people who rely on him.

My friend also has a remarkable Christian faith. He made peace with God on this, and I believe him. After much prayer and studying the Scripture, he is ready for heaven. He isn’t afraid to die. His friends wish they could say the same. We struggle with this new reality. We aren’t settled.

Behind our struggle is my friend’s pre-existing disability. My friend has lived his entire life with a difficult medical condition. It meant working twice as hard as another person. In faith, my friend carved out an exceptional life with a dedication that few understand. He graduated college. He took upwards of three city buses each way to look for work. When he was turned down by employers, he volunteered. Today, he is a chaplain for the college basketball team in his city. 

We all know how rare our friend’s determination is. Many in the disabled community are mired in feelings of disappointment and rejection. They struggle to believe things will get better. My friend faced that same outcome. Bullied in the public school system in the 1980s, and wrestling with the same doubts and uncertainties as any teenager, he accepted God’s sovereignty. He looked past the difficult circumstances he was given. In return, God made him special and visible to the world.

Today, my friend is a high-profile believer. Everyone knows he loves God. Those who know him understand the high cost he paid to be a faithful Christian. He had more hardships to overcome. 

It’s why his friends struggle. How can someone who went through all this die before he’s sixty?

Life isn’t about fairness, at least our limited definition. God is always fair, even when the unfolding plan challenges our human understanding. My friend told me recently, “I don’t need a sign from God. Faith is believing without seeing.” It was an inspiring thing to hear. It goes without saying that my friend received many signs, including meeting his devoted wife. They’ve been married for ten years.

My friend doesn’t need a sign in this most important situation. What does a sign tell us? God is good. My friend already believes this. He has lived his life as though time was a gift. He accepted the Bible’s word. Our lives are not our own. When our purpose is finished, God calls us home. My friend may question the timing, but he’s ready.

An atheist can explain away the existence of life as just an accident. But what can an atheist say about our fear of death? The Christian can explain it. As eternal beings, we were never meant to face death. Death is an interloper. We are confronted by a punishment we can’t withstand. In His goodness, God remedied death. We don’t have to face it alone. Still, we are tested when we look to the end of our lives. 

The thought of dying can envelop you in the unknown. Or, it can settle you in the certainty of God’s sovereignty. Death can appear to take away everything important to you. Or, it can usher you to heaven and everything you’ve ever wanted. Death can remove you from everyone you know, or it can lead you to where God’s family will spend eternity. It can be a period or a comma.

Not being afraid of dying is easy for some to say. Not thinking about death is a temporary fix. The gravity of death is real. The flesh is weak, and we are tempted to fear death like nothing else. 

When is our purpose finished? For my friend, I would like to say, “When he’s eighty-six.” We don’t know. Nothing in our lives gives us a hint until the moment suddenly comes, and it’s unavoidable.

None of his disciples believed Jesus would die. It was unthinkable the Messiah would be placed in a grave. And yet, it happened. On the cross, at thirty-three years old, Jesus said, “It is finished.” Jesus died. 

We will die. Jesus was raised. We who accept Jesus will be raised. It’s what my friend believes. Now, it’s what my friend is asking people like me to embrace.

(My friend passed away on May 31, 2024.)